Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hey Dad

Here is a post for you, sans any pictures. Sorry, I have not the time or the energy to upload any photos right now.

We've been absent I realize for quite some time. It is busy here. Scott found a job that puts him at work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I have been working like a crazy woman, from 5 am to usually 5 or 6 pm. Yesterday was my first real day, I got off work at 1:30! It was amazing. I went outside and the sun was still shining!! A miracle indeed.

The kids have started at a daycare. As much as I hate it though, they love it. Everyday they get more and more comfortable and everyday they are both becoming more and more excited about it. Adrien calls it the park and has already been telling me about it today. Isabella is obviously comfortable there otherwise we would all know about it.

Anyway, I will add more later but just thought I would do a little update for you all.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


has infected the house. It's such a bummer.

Thankfully for the most part it isn't too much of a cold. There is a runny nose and headache. But the worst part about this is the throat pain. It is brutal! And we all have it. Adrien's walkin' around with boogies hangin' out of his nose. Isabella keeps coughing and looking at us like "WHY!?"

I did manage to squish in some fun last night with some friends from high school and a few new people that they knew from Digipen. We went to this brewery and drank copious amounts of beer while listening to this amazing band! They're name is Handful of Lovin'. They have an excellent sound and the fiddler/violinist is by far the best part about this band. His work is beautiful! Check them out! I'm gonna go see them again next month at the Haul Ash ending party. Can't wait!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I do not know quite what it is but I have always felt a strong connection with the old ladies in my life. The comforting words, the oldie aromas... it all draws me in and means Grandmother to me.

I'm just joshin' about the aromas.

But seriously it is weird considering the drastic difference between them all. My Grandma Jean, I think is maybe the only one that I did not have that connection with and that is probably because she passed away when I was about 8 or 9.

Other than that there is my Grandma Connie who passed away about a year and half ago. She was my paternal Grandma. Very beautiful and kind. She had a very sweet soul. Everyone loved her and most still do. She was a woman of strong character and convictions. She was a good mother, a good grandmother and a good great grandmother.

And now... My Grandma Dianne. She is technically my step-grandmother I think, on my mother's side. But I have known her my whole life so she is just Grandma to me. Well, not just Grandma. She is the Grandma with whom I share a birthday.

"Remember, remember the 5th of November"

That is our day. Ours alone. And I love that we have that. But beyond that I have always been able to talk to her very frankly about anything that goes on in my life. I know that she will always listen to me and always be there. A kind word and a kind heart. When we were younger she used to tell us when we would visit her "Whatever your little heart desires." I can't wait to have Grandchildren just so I can say that and drive my children insane!

When I was younger she and I used to make fudge and she taught me how to scramble eggs in just the right way so they would be fluffy and dry. Just how I like them. Sometimes, we would rip up square cheese and put that on there too.

Speaking of square cheese, we had a signal for that during snack time. I wouldn't even have to say anything. I could just look at her and with my finger make a square and there it was, my square cheese! just like magic, or so I felt anyway.

There is a reason, a very personal reason that I go into this and I won't share it though it is obvious. But she means a lot to me and I miss her right now. I wish that I could give her a very large hug and make her some fudge. Maybe give her slice of square cheese and tell her that she can anything her little heart desires.

After all, shouldn't we all have that?

Friday, April 3, 2009

A reason

They sit in the water as if it is thier home. I know that feeling, I long for it. TO be submerged in a world all your own. Hearing the water as it languidly moves against your body. The single heartbeat, all your own. Toes on the edge, nails painted red. And just as the steam starts to rise off your stomach, there it is; weightlessness. And joy. And relief. There is... God. Or whatever God is.
Water is the only place I've ever felt that until Deception. I don't know why. I'm able to pray there, though. And give thanks and let my worries slip away with the waves and the sounds of the water on the shore.
As I start my run I hear the cars and bridge traffic. After a few moments and a few breaths I realize all I hear now is the forest waking up. There is the sound of my feet hitting the squishy, soft forest floor. The decaying pine needles cushioning my step. Barefoot. I want to run barefoot here. To feel the mud rise between my toes. Cold, wet and natural.
Birds offer the music to my forest cathedral. It is not just thier chirping and singing but the whishing of thier wings in flight against the thump thump thump of my feet. It is just enough of a song to keep me going.
There is life everywhere here. It is even on the rocks. Little cactus looking flowers. Maybe a succubus of some kind I think. Lichen, paling to an almost white sage as spring closes in finally. It has been a ahrd winter. Snow, rain, Cold. Oh! the cold!
As i near my half way mark, I head to the beach. It is sunny this morning and 37^F. I want to rest and soak it in. Be thankful for it. Minutes pass and I tear myself away from this warm little heaven to keep going.
I get close to the bridge and slow down to a walk. I like to hear civilization as I come back to it. To remember what I just had and what I am going into. A world filled with endless distraction and reactions. A world that needs... something.