Its a new day and a new year (well a few months into the new year anyway). And I am a newly single lady. It's been a while since I have visited this space or even checked up on it and I'm sorry.
I haven't been feeling it lately. I've been on another journey, I don't know where it led me yet or why I went down that path but I did. It's been unusual. It's been wonderful. It's been time to say goodbye to it for a while, I just wasn't ready.
Isn't that interesting, when we need to stop or finish something but we aren't ready so we just keep chewing on it until we just can't chew anymore. I think a lot of us do it and noone really talks about it. We talk about everything else but that. We talk about all the things we should be doing which is all the things we aren't doing.
So, i am going to try to be here more often, not for you. For me. This place helped get me through some things that I don't think I would have gotten through otherwise. If you read it that's great and if not that's great too. For me though, this is therapy. I'm writing what I feel and what I want to do with my life here in a place that is both safe and yet not so private that when I close my computer I won't feel like noone has heard me or understood me. That is part of life, being understood and heard. It makes up more than we ever want to admit. Being alone, being quiet aren't things that anyone ever wants forever. We all need someone to listen to us and to listen to.
At least here there is the illusion of someone listening. Someone's understanding.... somewhere.