Today

Today is the day that I applied for school again...

I am so excited!

Today is the day that I found out that I might not be able to get financial aid...

I am so frustrated!

Today is the day that I decided to go either way...

Scott is a tad upset and very excited.


But in this new year I have decided to stop making so many personal sacrifices for Scott and our marriage. Don't take it the wrong way, I love him dearly. But I need to be me as well as us. The last... oh Goodness, um I think it's been almost 8 years that we have known each other Scott has always had the last say. The final decision if you will, on what we were are doing with our lives. Where we live and all those super important decisions. So, after much debate we came to the conclusion that being a stay at home Mom only is not the way for me. I need a few hours a week where I am doing something for me. Where I am getting out of the house and away from all this... just for me. And oh is it a novelty.

Sometimes I find myself looking around after a crazy day and thinking "holy cow when did all this happen? I'm 23 not 33!" And then a baby wakes me up and I remember how thankful I am for the smell and squish of baby cheeks during sleep. How much one little smile can actually make you think that everything really is going to be just fine in the end, no matter what. I wake up and get a sleepy hug after we get out of bed at 5(ish) in the morning and I remember just how happy I am to have that guy next to me.